What Shall I Take To A Swingers Party?

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What Shall I Take To A Swingers Party?

My fail-proof guide for first-time swingers!

What Shall I Take To A Swingers Party? As well as your sexy selves, there are a few essential items that you should not attend a swingers party without carefully packing. Of course, you will already be taking the obvious; keys, money, condoms. But what else do you need? Are you expected to bring items with you? And if you are, what are they?
But luckily for you, here is my failproof guide. I will provide you with all the answers. So please sit back, relax and let me teach you all I know about being a smart and sexy first-time swinger.

It is worth bearing in mind that a lot of clubs and events don’t allow phones inside as they operate a strict no pictures policy. So do be prepared to hand it over to the reception, where they will usually place it in a locker for you.


Lube helps to minimise any soreness, and it works to eliminate any tears and rips in condoms; the last thing you want is to run the risk of a condom ripping!

Probably your most essential item. Condoms! I know you will of thought about this one, but I had to write about it! For me, the more, the merrier. I always buy a box of 10 for each party I attend. It doesn’t matter if you plan on having a full swap with lots of different couples, or you have softer limits; if you’re going to put your dick anywhere, make sure it’s safe!
Also, condoms can easily be made into barriers for performing oral sex on women, simply open the condom, snip the closed end off, open it out, and use it as a rectangular-shaped guard.

What Shall I Take To A Swingers Party?

Unsure about what size or type to go for? I usually choose a premium brand, large size. Avoid ribbed, coloured, flavoured or anything else. Please keep it simple. I, for one, am not a fan of bright red or blue condoms; they really don’t appeal!


A small bottle of water-based lubricant. I like to take a little, travel-size bottle of lube with me, as I find it so useful. The last thing you want is to feel uncomfortable and sore. Lube helps to minimise any soreness, and it works to eliminate any tears and rips in condoms; the last thing you want is to run the risk of a condom ripping! If I’m using a vibrator or dildo, especially with another woman, I like to use a small amount of lube. My advice is to take your time and enjoy foreplay. Being at a party can be nerve-wracking enough; help yourselves along by slicking on some sweet lube.

A Hairbrush

Trust me; if you have long hair like me, you will want to run a brush through it during the night. Do you know how messy your hair gets during sex? Imagine that level of messiness throughout an entire night? Depending on your kinks and how intense they are, after all, you may find yourselves upside down on a sex swing, and that, my friends, is messy.

A Change Of Clothes

It’s not just women that may need a spare pair of knickers! Do you know how men take off their clothes and leave them discarded on the floor, without any real thought?

You might turn up to the party in your sexy attire with your coat over the top (easy if you have driven there yourselves), or you might get changed once you are there.
Whatever you decide, take some regular clothes to put on at the end of the night. A change of clothes is essential if you are considering taking a cab home or using public transport. Most clubs and events have lockers and cloakrooms where you can leave your clothes and belongings and collect them at the end of the night.
When I go to a party, the outfits or dresses I wear leave little to the imagination or are PVC skin tight. Regardless of which one I choose to wear, I always like to get changed afterwards.
Being comfortable is important to me and getting changed at the end of a steamy session makes good sense!


If a party has a hot tub, sauna or pool, it may be a wise idea to take along some towels and your swimwear. Yes, I’m sure skinny dipping will be encouraged, but imagine if you were the only one naked! Some clubs do provide towels, but always check first before you visit!

Spare Lingerie Or Underwear!

On some occasions taking another pair of knickers can be useful

It’s not just women that may need a spare pair of knickers!  Do you know how men take off their clothes and leave them discarded on the floor, without any real thought? Well, it is no different in a swingers club! I have lost count of the number of times that my boyfriend has got undressed in a club, and then an hour or so later, gone back to find his clothes, to only discover that his boxers and socks look exactly like all the other guy’s boxers and socks? (also discarded on the floor) Now, for me, getting my underwear mixed up with another woman’s or even leaving it in a pile in a club is simply not something I would ever do.

What Shall I Take To A Swingers Party?

But on some occasions taking another pair of knickers can be useful. For example, if you want to shower and get dressed back into your regular clothes at the end of the night, the last thing you want to do is put on already worn knickers! So sometimes, taking along some spares can be helpful!

Mints/ Breath Freshener

For me, this is crucial if you smoke. I have found that smoking can divide people when it comes to who they will and won’t play with. For me, smoking is not a problem, but it has come up in conversation with other swingers a lot over the years. Most clubs have an outside smoking area, so if you do go out for a cigarette, be sure to freshen up when you have finished. I have found that when couples are choosing who they will or won’t play with, smokers or non-smokers is sometimes a deciding factor. In fact, it is so important that most swinger websites require you to declare whether you smoke! Maybe taking along a vape would be easier?

Some Form Of ID

Some clubs and events ask you to provide a picture ID when you first attend so that they can create a membership card for you. If you have signed up online and submitted a profile of yourselves, they need to make sure you are who you say you are! Also, they will need to check your age!
As you can imagine, your face must be a match for the ID and your application. Always be conscious of the rules when attending an event, and if they insist on seeing ID, then take it along!

Wet Wipes

Sounds yukky, but trust me, after a night of sexy mischief, you will want to freshen up! Taking a few wet wipes to use is an excellent idea for both men and women. It’s surprising just how hot you get at some parties, and before you head home, it’s nice to feel refreshed!


I do sometimes wear ‘fetish’ shoes to clubs. Thigh-high boots, ‘stripper’ heels the like! However, once again, they are not always appropriate footwear to arrive at the club in, especially if you have to park the car and then have to face a 10-minute walk through central London to the club. Instead, what I tend to do is pack my swinger party heels into my bag and wear a pair of flat shoes to the party. Once there, I slip them off and slip into the sexy shoes!

I remember years ago, going to a party and wearing a pair of black stilettos and a bodycon style dress. I had decided to take the tube, which was quite possibly the worst decision ever! It was summer, and it was still light at 9 pm. The tube was crowded, and the streets were busy with couples out having dinner and shopping.
I felt so awkward in my outfit, even though what I was wearing wasn’t that revealing. And being a single girl, pretty much every guy checked me out, and all the ladies looked disapprovingly at me!

Hand Sanitiser

Again, not the sexiest of items, and for the love of God, don’t get it mixed up with the lube bottle! But, trust me, a small squirt of hand sanitiser, especially after enjoying some intimate acts, is a must. Plus, you want to be a considerate and safe swinger.

Deodorant/ Body Spray

A small travel-sized deodorant or spray is handy to take to a party. Again, it is amazing how hot and sweaty you get, especially in orgy rooms. Taking time to freshen up is essential.

What Shall I Take To A Swingers Party?


Now, you may decide to take a few toys with you, and there are plenty of options out there for you to choose from!
From past experience, what I will say is this; don’t take anything too large or that needs plugging in unless you know you will be able to do so!

Wands are amazing, and I absolutely love mine! However, they are not practical for taking along to a club; a smaller house party perhaps, but not a club! So if not a wand, what should you take? For me, I like to pop into my bag a small bullet vibrator. I find them easy to use, and they still deliver powerful sensations without being bulky, especially useful when you are in an orgy. Plus, you may feel a little self-conscious about using something more ‘industrial’.

There are loads of different sizes and styles out there, from rechargeable, waterproof designs to soft feeling silicone ones.
I do have two favourite designs, which are both available from World Of Risque. One is the Sparking Diamond Vibrator, and the other is the Rocks Off bullet.

I hope this intimate and informative guide has given you all you need to know about what to take to a swingers party! I wish a manual like this had been available to me before I attended my first party! It’s amazing what you learn through experience. Please note, all these items fit neatly into a small handbag. I don’t particularly appreciate carrying large bags with me, and nor do I like leaving my purse in the locker room. I want to have these items to hand, as and when I need them, especially the condoms and lube.

World Of Risque

World Of Risque are a company who I would refer to as my close friends! They are London based and provide their customers with simply sensual products and know exactly how to throw a party!
From Doxy wands to Dildos, Lingerie to Lube, some gorgeous products are waiting for you!  

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Hi, I'm Rosie!

The girl behind ThisKindaGirl.

I’m a non-monogamy and swinging lifestyle coach.

TKG was born out of a desire to share my honest advice about swinging, alternative relationships and human nature. I’m here to help people successfully navigate the heavily stigmatised world of swinging.

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