How To Write A Great Swinger Dating Profile

How To Write A Great Swinger Dating Profile 

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How To Write A Great Swinger Dating Profile! I have wanted to write this article for a long time! With a surge in online dating, virtual swinging and swinger dating apps, it’s time to talk about how to write the very best swinger dating profile out there! 

When it comes to the world of online swinger dating, I’ve experienced some of the worst users, so you don’t have to.

Here are my quick, simple top tips to writing a successful swinger dating profile: 

• Choose a couples positive/swinger positive username. 
• If you are a couple, then having a user name that includes both of you is a great start.
• If you are a single person, then you could use your first name or a variant of, for instance, Bellaloves69 or SexySteven! 
• If you want your profile to stand out and seduce other swingers, (of course you do!), then get creative with your images. Do some research and be inspired! 
• Protect your privacy. 
• Don’t share your real name, location or what you do for a living on a swinger site.   
• Never ask other people to disclose their full names, their previous sexual partners, location or any further personal details. 
• Writing a long list of what you expect/desire without any room for compromise or discussion is quite off-putting.
• Don’t be passive-aggressive.
• Be more than just a list of statistics and measurements. 
• Write about what you enjoy, what do you bring to the table. What do you have to offer? 

Over the years, I’ve seen it all online, from close up scrotum profile pictures to I COME ACROSS AS A BIT CRAZY ALL IN CAPITALS. When it comes to the world of online swinger dating, I’ve experienced some of the worst users, so you don’t have to. 

The advice in this article can be applied to your profile regardless of your relationship status, gender, sexuality or sexual desires. So, before you open your laptop, let me teach you all I know about How To Write A Great Swinger Dating Profile. 

The Truth About Swinger Dating Profiles

Let’s be honest! I know this sounds er, obvious but you would be surprised at the sheer number of ‘exaggerated truths’ found on swinger dating sites, from false claims about kinks and fetishes to blatant lies about appearance and age. 

Bragging about what you have done/would like to experience, and perhaps over-exaggerating may work for some in the community. But, it only lasts so long, sooner or later somebody (experienced swingers know the right questions to ask) will call you out on it! 

If you are new to the scene or are yet to visit a club, then say so! 

I know it’s tempting to mask the truth when it comes to age and body type. And unfortunately, just as in the regular dating world, people are facing body shaming and negativity due to their age when making a swinger dating profile online. However, saying you’re an athletic 35-year-old when in reality you’re a sedate 55 year old can backfire on you!

Last year I went on a date with a guy who was keen to explore the lifestyle, we hit it off online and exchanged a few pics. He said he was an athletic 35-year-old, and he had been, once. When he turned up for the date, I realised that although it was the same guy, he was not quite as he had claimed to be. Let’s just say; he didn’t get a kiss good night! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against older guys and girls, but it’s the fact that he felt the need to deceive me, that was a turn-off! 

 You have to ask yourself, based on an online profile, would I be willing to engage in sexual activity with this person and swing with them? 

Being honest about your age and appearance doesn’t mean selling yourself short and being negative. Focus on the parts of your body you love. If you’re a 40-year-old blonde bombshell who’s a size 14 with a great ass, then say so! If you’re an older guy with a great sexy smile and broad shoulders, say so! 

Write Concisely, And With Good Grammar

Maybe it’s because I’m a writer, but it’s a turn off when reading a profile that is either far too short (so short you don’t get any idea of who the person/people are) or lacks the basics when it comes to written English. I don’t expect everyone to be skilled at language or be a writer for a living, but avoid text speak; a blatant disregard for using coherent language is in my book, unforgivable.

If you can’t spell, that’s fine, it’s not a big deal, just check your writing before you post it!

Okay, I don’t mean to sound too snobby, but think about what you put on the page. 

If you want to attract genuine swingers and take your lifestyle involvement seriously, then your profile needs to demonstrate this. Recently, I received a message from a guy, and when I clicked on his profile, it read like this: 

                100% Bi 100% orally Bi duz that count?

I mean really??? What in hells bells does that even mean? 

From writing too little to writing far too much, there are some swinger profiles I’ve had the misfortune of reading that have been a few hundred words where every other line is like this little gem:

‘Best one ever….politely said no to a bloke…he replied I don’t care I got a better offer anyway and blocked me…fucking joker !!!!. 

AND ONE DAY SHE FINALLY REALISES THAT THIS PLACE IS FULL OF FUCKED UP INDIVIDUALS!!!!!!’

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that firstly writing in CAPITALS is crass, and secondly, venting your frustration on your profile is well, absurd. Would I be willing to engage in sexual activity with this person and swing with them? No, no I would not! 

What Does Your Swinger Profile Say About You? 

As I mentioned earlier, having a close up of a rather squashed looking scrotum, or other genitalia is not advisable. Sure, you may want to include a few intimate pictures, but don’t have them as your profile picture! 

So, if not a candid close up? Then what can I use? I hear you ask. Well, a full-length picture is preferable, it doesn’t have to show your face or the whole of your body, but if you are a couple, then I advise that your profile be the two of you together to show that you are a genuine couple. The last thing you want is to appear misleading!

You don’t have to be naked either; you can dress however you choose, but remember this is a swingers profile, so leave the vanilla pictures of you both on holiday in Swansea to one side eh? 

Think, sexy, seductive and not overly explicit. The most exciting profiles are the ones that are suggestive and sexy. Think, outfits, props, sexy poses and purposefully placed hands. 

What Can You Offer To Other Swingers? 

When you are writing your swinger dating profile, don’t just write about what you want and who you are hoping to meet, but also make sure you include what you have to offer. I have seen too many profiles that read like this:

‘We want to find ladies to hook up with us… A girl to play with the woman whilst the husband watches. She must be open-minded, fully Bisexual, and she must be etc etc… she must be willing etc etc…’

This is all well and good, but what is the single woman going to get? Where is the incentive for playing with this couple? Are they into the same kinks as her? Do they want to lavish attention on her? If you don’t say what you have to offer, then you can’t expect people to message you; otherwise, it all sounds a bit one-sided. Plus using the word must…er, no thanks!

Selling yourself/s isn’t always easy. But it’s what you have to do if you want to attract genuine swingers. Are you attentive lovers? Are you skilled at BDSM rope play? Do you enjoy pleasing men or women? 

Let Your Personalities Do The Talking, Not Just Your Pictures

Swinging is a very social activity and building up a connection, and good rapport is key to making trustworthy swinger friends. If you have 20 pictures and only a few sentences about you, then it’s going to be difficult for other swingers to know what it is you are into, and who you would like to meet. Yes, your pictures may be sexy, but I’m afraid that for me, and I’m sure I’m not alone here, I need to see a mix of both pictures and personality. 

Just because I’m into bondage that doesn’t make me ‘freak’. So writing that people who enjoy bondage are into ‘freaky shit’ is downright disrespectful!

Don’t Body Shame Other Swingers.

We all have our preferences as to who we like to play with, and the types of people we find attractive. We are all entitled to our opinions and we humans come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, genders and sexual preferences, so there is someone for everyone in the world of swinging. What you shouldn’t do, and it makes me sad that I have even to mention this, is body shame other swingers. Writing things like this is just awful (and these are real examples, and yes they were written like this). 

‘NO ONE WITH BEARDS!!! NO SMOKERS, DISGUSTING!!! NO ONE WHO ISN’T FULLY SHAVED. WE WILL NOT PLAY WITH DIRTY PEOPLE. NO BEARDS’

Firstly, just because you choose not to shave, it doesn’t make you ‘dirty’ and secondly, so you don’t like smoking, you don’t need to SHOUT ABOUT IT, and thirdly, okay, you don’t like beards…calm the f@&k down! 

 Body-shaming is hugely unattractive. If it’s something you feel strongly about, and I do understand that smoking isn’t for everyone, then simply adding at the end of your profile ‘we choose not to play with smokers, thanks.’  is polite, to the point and discreet. 

Another unattractive trait that I have seen on some swingers dating profiles is kink-shaming other swingers. Just because I’m into bondage that doesn’t make me ‘freak’. So writing that people who enjoy bondage are into ‘freaky shit’ is downright disrespectful! It may not be your thing, but don’t be rude about it! 

Stress The Importance Of Playing Safely

Playing safely with other swingers should always be your top priority. And however that looks for you; whether that’s by the use of condoms or dental dams, be sure always to use protection. Condoms or dental dams should still be used, even when having ‘soft swap play’. Don’t be afraid to ask people about their current testing status. Do they have regular tests, every few months? Or have they only had one in the last few years? You could also include it on your profile if you have had a test recently.

Here Are My Top Tips For Writing A Great Swinger Dating Profile

• Choose a couples positive/swinger positive username. You would be surprised at the amount of vulgar and downright ridiculous screen names I’ve seen over the years. It would help if you struck a balance between revolting and repulsive: hotcumsausage4you and too prim and personal: mrandmrsbrown@No42. If you are a couple, then having a user name that includes both of you is a great start. mrandmrskink or WElovetoplay are both positive-sounding examples. If you are a single person, then you could use your name or a variant of, for instance, Bellaloves69 or SexySteven! Whatever name you choose, bear in mind that it will form another person’s impression of you, so give it some thought!
• I know that taking great pictures is easier said than done, and I, for one am no expert! I can pull off a selfie, but that’s about it! If you want your profile to stand out and seduce other swingers, (of course you do!) then get creative with your pictures. Sometimes I will strike a pose that I think is great only to look at it later and be horrified to discover it looks like I’ve got three chins! Do some research and get creative! 
• Protect your privacy. I don’t share my real name, location or what I do for a living when I make a dating profile on a swinger site.  I also keep my face out of the photos and only share face shots with swingers I have spent time chatting with. It would be best if you never asked other people to disclose their full names, location or any further personal details. Sure, you want to build up a rapport, but that comes over time as trust is established. 
• I recently saw a profile that was a huge list of demands and was rather uncouth. This certainly didn’t do it for me, and I’m confident it wouldn’t do it for you either. Writing a long list of what you expect/desire without any room for compromise or discussion is quite off-putting. 

‘You HAVE to have a BIG COCK. I will NOT play with men less than 8INS. You HAVE to want to EAT PUSSY. I will NOT ACCOMMODATE. You MUST pay for HOTEL. If you are a couple, you HAVE to be CLEAN AND SHAVED NO DIRTY PEOPLE.’

• Dont be passive-aggressive, I know this sounds obvious, but as we discovered earlier, some people do use their swinger dating profile to vent their frustrations. Don’t! You look bitter and cynical. We all experience flakes, fake swingers and rejection, but brush it aside and move on! 
• Be more than just a list of statistics and measurements. We seem obsessed with the size of one another. Suppose a woman has massive tits? Great, if she doesn’t then that’s great too! We are defined by more than our size. Guys, I know it’s tempting to put your cock size in your profile, but really?! Not only is this very juvenile, but it’s also quite self-deprecating!! I’m sure there’s a lot more to you than how many inches you are packing. If you are struggling to write anything positive about yourself other than how ‘big’ you are (this applies to women too, so stop listing your bra size and listen up) then go and focus on what makes you, you. What do you enjoy, what do you bring to the table, what do you have to offer? 

Here’s an example of a couples swinger dating profile template that you could use if you need some inspiration:

Mrand MrsKinky

Hi there, thanks for stopping by! 

Our time is precious, and we want to spend it with like-minded, fun and relaxed people. We want to meet verified swingers that we have a genuine connection with and get to know socially, as well as intimately. Our account is accessed by us both, and all replies are from ‘us’. If we both desire and fancy you … then happy days, let’s meet for a drink …

What you get: A couple who are extremely secure in their relationship and sexuality. 

We are keen to continue sexually exploring the swinging world and enjoy meeting for threesomes and foursomes with men and women! 

What we would like: Swingers who are secure in their sexuality.

We want to be able to build up a great connection and friendship with people who ‘get us’. We always play together and respond to messages together, so we expect any potential couples also to follow this rule.

Please take the time to read the below and look through our pictures. Just to be clear – safe sex and discretion are an absolute starting point. We don’t meet separately. We are tested regularly for STI’S and STD’s.